Everyday Happiness and Fulfillment.

If you have ever tried to change your life drastically and couldn’t, don’t worry. You are not alone. Maybe you wanted to lose weight, become more social or make more money doing something you like. At first you were excited, you felt on top of the world, then you felt like you couldn’t stick to your plan and you reminded yourself how much you suck.  It’s a pattern a lot of people get into, they have the leverage to make a decision but don’t know how to plan things and they fail. Consider this my ultimate guide for drastic changes in life.

Why most people fail to change their lifes?

It’s not bad motivation, it’s bad planning.

  • They stop dreaming.
  • Short-term thinking.
  • Relying on willpower.
  • Bad planning.
  • Not knowing what they are capable of.

Inicial excitement

If you keep that initial excitement you will achieve success and hapiness, no doubt. If you trust it at the beginning you will crash at the beginning.

This is what I talked about in a past article (https://ivanperezs.wordpress.com/the-passion-of-life/). I’m sure you have experienced the loop I talked about at the beggining of this post a few times. At first that feeling is independent, they get excited because of the end goal. Then, they start to say to themselves ‘you can only feel like this is you do this huge amount of work’, they get trapped in the results game.

The initial excitement is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you can’t get your dreams if you don’t find your passions. Success doesn’t bring happiness, happiness doesn’t bring success. However, if you combine wisely both action and passion you will have success in the long run and happiness right now. On the other hand, it will confuse you and make you think you can do everything. You will set big short-term goals. Maybe you can accomplish them two or three days, but then you can’t.

The initial excitement made you feel on top of the world, the fall was painful. Why is this? Pain and pleasure, the twins you must control if you want to make a change.

Passion is the same as loads of pleasure, that’s why you have to keep the initial excitement. How?

Make sure your goal is your dream. It has to excite you just by thinking of it.

Think of that dream most of the time. It should be the first thing and the last thing you think about in the day. You should be actually dreaming about it during the night.

As you are taking action, remember your dream.  Get excited.

Reward yourself. Every action you take, no matter how small it is, should be celebrated.

Remind yourself how much you rock for taking action.

Forget about results at first.

Don’t link pain to your goals or to talking action. If you feel like a goal is something arduous, difficult, that you can’t do, you are linking bad feelings to doing it. You are sabotaging yourself.

Pressure or willpower only link more bad feelings. Even if you achieve your short-term goal, if you keep relying on them to get things done you will quit within days.

How to plan your change?

  1. Start small. Your first goals should be something you think it’s too easy.
  2. Do less, do better. Limit the number of things you do for your goal each day. Zen To Done (http://zenhabits.net) is a system that works well for me and a lot of people.
  3. Focus. Focus is a powerful tool. You shouldn’t be focusing on results, on what action you don’t take, on what you don’t have… but you should be really on what you do towards your goals.
  4. Think long-term. Set and plan at least one year goals.
  5. Include in your planning time so you can link good feelings to action and your dream.
  6. Have time for yourself. Take it easy, reward yourself with fun.
  7. Form successful habits.

Punishing yourself, setting way too big goals, wanting to do too much, losing the motivation because it wasn’t your dream, just going through the motions… there’s a long list of things like that you will find in your journey. It takes responsibility and work to come again to the right path. Now, tell me, what is your dream?