Dealing with unexpected problems Based on Real Life Story
You have to catch a plane in less than 10 minutes! Hurry up, dude! But, wait, where are you? You are in a toilet cubicle… sited. You are actually having a shit on an airport toilet. ‘Fortunately, there’s enough toilet paper… hehe. No, wait… OMG, the toilet paper ended and I have to catch the plane!’ What do you do in these types of situations?
GET CREATIVE!!
You had your goal and it was perfectly planned. You only had to take a quick shit and catch the damn plane. It was easy. But sometimes – and only sometimes… – life doesn’t exactly adjust to our plans and reality hits us on the face.
When unexpected problems appear life it’s not about having the perfect clean shit, but about catching the plane, even if it hurts at first.
Some situations when plans won’t work and you’ll need to be creative:
Meeting someone.
Partying.
Any big project you can think of.
Traveling.
Fighting.
Can you think of any other situations? Speak up.
Ways to get creative, don’t limit yourself:
Grab the first idea that comes into your mind. Remember that you don’t have much time.
Continue linking ideas until something clicks.
Trust your intuition.
Act.
Learn from the experience.
Well, how did that toilet dude solve the problem? (you know, it wasn’t me, it was a friend ;]). He got creative and grabbed all the cellulose that was there. That included a toilet paper roll and a newspaper. You can imagine the rest. Hilarious? I know, but sometimes shit doesn’t go your way and you have to move on, pain included. Share this story if you’ve liked it!
Have you ever tried to make someone do something and get nothing? Have you ever presented yourself saying things you think are impressive and people were indifferent? At this day and age, people are bombarded with a huge amount of information. The power of word (alone) is useless now, unless you are the owner of a large TV channel. What’s left? The power of facts. People can’t avoid, discuss or reject facts, not for a long time.
Why should you stop talking?
I’m sure you know a lot of people who almost only talk about: what they can do, what they did, what they will do, what they have, why they are right… I could continue because, as you can see, the list includes a large variety of topics, but I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. Do you really think all these people actually do big things with their life? Do you think they are living their dreams? Obviously not. However, they get a lot of social validation from playing the victim role, they are lifelong experts on manipulation. BTW, I don’t have anything against these people, they are just living a reality that is dictated but everyone but themselves. It’s OK, most people don’t have the conscience, the leverage and the courage that takes to walk the self-actualisation path. Don’t blame them, just don’t fall in the same trap.
When you live life like that, you are trapped in a loop. A loop, in behavioural terms, is a series of habits that we end up doing unconsciously, very often in the same order, because you are getting something out of it. It could be validation, pleasure, ego inflation… anything. It’s a script, a viral program you run unconsciously. If you get lost in the talking loop, you won’t start doing anything except there is some external force that leads you. You never dictate your reality.
There’s only one thing in the world that results more annoying to me than a person without opinion, and that is somebody who always has to express his/her point of view about everything. One of the reasons because I think is annoying is that I myself tend to do that. You probably know a lot of stuff, you have lived a lot of things. Yes, it can be true. Even so, you don’t need to be telling it every damn time. We live in information age, Google exists. If they really want to know what you have to say they will ask. Or is it that you want to get validation from it? Help someone only if you feel like doing it.
When did humanity lost the good habit of talking for the sake of talking? People should stop talking life so seriously and do only what is necessary. The rest should be just for fun. My mate Matt (I know, it seems like a tongue twister) has nailed it with this article.
When there is a important group decision to make, it’s not about not talking, but about talking less. In those serious time, it’s when you should talk serious. Everyone will talk a lot, hold yourself back and think of something that would be useful and will result. Make sure when you talk serious is quality. That’s something I’ve had applied to quite a few important things that need to get done by a work group.
Why should you lead by example?
While most people will be talking about why they aren’t at the level they should be you will be moving forward and taking action. You will be getting things done and forging the legend. Guess who has way bigger success?
Those that surround you will rely on you on tough times. Trust me on this one, when you stop talking and focus on doing things you will get this reputation of the guy who achieves things, even if you don’t talk about it. Well, better said: because you don’t talk about it. When it’s needed others will give you the leadership position. I’ve seen this happen over and over on myself and others. Again, people will sometimes trust words, but will always finally trust facts.
Most people don’t have courage to do things, they need someone who walks the path first. They are used to live life on autopilot. Even when they are asked about random questions, if they can, they’ll wait as spectators until someone takes a decision. Those who take that decision are conditioning themselves to be one of the influences in the world. They will inspire people with their acts, they’ll be the example to follow.
How to stop talking and lead by example?
I have to say it won’t be an instant change. But hopefully, with my advice you can speed up the process.
If you have ever tried to change your life drastically and couldn’t, don’t worry. You are not alone. Maybe you wanted to lose weight, become more social or make more money doing something you like. At first you were excited, you felt on top of the world, then you felt like you couldn’t stick to your plan and you reminded yourself how much you suck. It’s a pattern a lot of people get into, they have the leverage to make a decision but don’t know how to plan things and they fail. Consider this my ultimate guide for drastic changes in life.
Why most people fail to change their lifes?
It’s not bad motivation, it’s bad planning.
They stop dreaming.
Short-term thinking.
Relying on willpower.
Bad planning.
Not knowing what they are capable of.
Inicial excitement
If you keep that initial excitement you will achieve success and hapiness, no doubt. If you trust it at the beginning you will crash at the beginning.
This is what I talked about in a past article (https://ivanperezs.wordpress.com/the-passion-of-life/). I’m sure you have experienced the loop I talked about at the beggining of this post a few times. At first that feeling is independent, they get excited because of the end goal. Then, they start to say to themselves ‘you can only feel like this is you do this huge amount of work’, they get trapped in the results game.
The initial excitement is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you can’t get your dreams if you don’t find your passions. Success doesn’t bring happiness, happiness doesn’t bring success. However, if you combine wisely both action and passion you will have success in the long run and happiness right now. On the other hand, it will confuse you and make you think you can do everything. You will set big short-term goals. Maybe you can accomplish them two or three days, but then you can’t.
The initial excitement made you feel on top of the world, the fall was painful. Why is this? Pain and pleasure, the twins you must control if you want to make a change.
Passion is the same as loads of pleasure, that’s why you have to keep the initial excitement. How?
Make sure your goal is your dream. It has to excite you just by thinking of it.
Think of that dream most of the time. It should be the first thing and the last thing you think about in the day. You should be actually dreaming about it during the night.
As you are taking action, remember your dream. Get excited.
Reward yourself. Every action you take, no matter how small it is, should be celebrated.
Remind yourself how much you rock for taking action.
Forget about results at first.
Don’t link pain to your goals or to talking action. If you feel like a goal is something arduous, difficult, that you can’t do, you are linking bad feelings to doing it. You are sabotaging yourself.
Pressure or willpower only link more bad feelings. Even if you achieve your short-term goal, if you keep relying on them to get things done you will quit within days.
How to plan your change?
Start small. Your first goals should be something you think it’s too easy.
Do less, do better. Limit the number of things you do for your goal each day. Zen To Done (http://zenhabits.net) is a system that works well for me and a lot of people.
Focus. Focus is a powerful tool. You shouldn’t be focusing on results, on what action you don’t take, on what you don’t have… but you should be really on what you do towards your goals.
Think long-term. Set and plan at least one year goals.
Include in your planning time so you can link good feelings to action and your dream.
Have time for yourself. Take it easy, reward yourself with fun.
Form successful habits.
Punishing yourself, setting way too big goals, wanting to do too much, losing the motivation because it wasn’t your dream, just going through the motions… there’s a long list of things like that you will find in your journey. It takes responsibility and work to come again to the right path. Now, tell me, what is your dream?
Every single one of you, in terms of motivation fits in one of those groups. Sure, you can be both but you tend to be more of one than the other. To know which one you are in, just ask yourself ‘why do I go out?’.
OK, soundtrack:
Gamers will answer something like: I want to practise my routines and moves, I want to get better reactions. Maybe they say it in a subtler way, something like: ‘I want to improve my game’ ‘I want to make it consistent’ ‘I want to learn natural game’ and so on and so forth. There are some guys who actually have these goals when they go out but they don’t give a fuck, literally, if they achieve them or not. They set these goals because they like the game and want to stay motivated, but for most of you reading that is a sign of being a gamer.
OTOH, players love the game, simply. Not the moves, the logistics, the girls, the results… they just love the chase. Players (aka sexworthy men) are closers and have learned that the fun is in the chase. They don’t practise their game, they just play it. They don’t give a shit if they fail sometimes, they are men and take all the responsibility for their reality.
Gamers have game, these are the guys that you see who almost never get rejected and made the groups laugh, they may get a flakey number.
Players are those guys that sometimes you will laugh at how many times they get rejected, with this guys girls can’t play their games, this guys are the epitome of authenticity. They go hard with their intent, they rely on themselves, they may get rejected but that’s nothing for them. With players, when it’s on… it’s fucking on.
Gamers can turn a woman on emotionally, maybe they can manipulate a woman to game them, hoping that she will escalate, extract and jump on their dicks.
Players love the action, you just can’t control them. When a woman chooses to involve with a guy like this she can relax because she knows he’s taking the responsibility for him and her getting laid.
Gamers analyse every set and measure their results to see how they can improve their game, they think about interactions (A LOT). They put tons of energy on learning, forgetting why this is called a game.
Players usually don’t have to think about sets. This champ gets blown out and a second later you see him clawing a girl, smiling almost arrogantly. They don’t try to learn, they just play the game while they learn trough experience, joining the dots unconsciously, they know things intuitively. They understands the principle of consistency, not perfection. A player doesn’t mind if he gets blown 20 times in a row the same night, this changes nothing and he is still a high value guy, he know that he only needs one set to hook to get laid.
Gamers work a lot on their game, so much that they think this is enough.
Players pass the gaming part and start at the closing part. In the first seconds of the interaction he either gets blown out or he’s making out with the girl (or another hardcore form of escalation).
The internal value of a gamer depends on the quality of their game that night.
The player measures his success by his ability to close the deal, he does what he wants when he wants, he has his own rhythm. This guy understands that at the beginning of the night every man starts equal, that to quote the amazing Kimball “the difference comes not from ‘being good with girls,’ but from your ability to take responsibility for what happens around you”, that he actually wins for taking action.
You will see the gamer dude thinking about their next approach or what’s worst: thinking about their past approaches. He plays to not loose.
You will see the player playing, he wants to have the ball and go. This guys plays to win.
The first guy is so inside his head he doesn’t have fun and has to fake smiles and state. He may try to get instate to get attraction.
With the second nothing is fake, he’s 100% real and congruent, he has fun. He gets in state by playing the game, his state is unbreakable.
The gamer dood gets cool reactions, the player gets laid.
One is impression mode, the other is only expressing himself, his intent and core, he’s being the music. He goes out only for himself, he’s the star of the show.
Part Two of the Article: The “INSERT COIN” Phenomenon.
After some months of succesfull player nights in a row, getting insta make-outs everywhere which (at that time) for me was mind blowing and I felt like the pimp of da world. Ego trap came after, and that was the beggining of the Project Venom, which I hope you know about. Although I started taking responsibility, I fell in the gamer category, I started to work in my game. While before I was succesful with no game at all, now I was working on my game, no girl and very little successes.
Which made me change from one thing to the other? The real difference between gamers and players, the root was that as the great jlaix say in the Jeffy Show, the different comes from the meanings and bearings you choose.
As you may notice, the last two blog posts I made were about ‘enjoying’ and ‘passion’. That is, positive things. I think that the two most powerful tools in life for changing and creating anything are focus and linking instant positive feelings to something.
I might make a blog on this two things someday, although a lot of motivational authors talk about it in one way or another. I’ll just say something briefly.
1. You get what you focus on aka ‘the Law of Attraction’, although that seems very hairy fairy.
2. Even if you know something is going to cause you problems on the long-term you will do it if you know that provides you instant pleasure, and you will need a lot of will power to avoid doing it.
When I started doing approaches again through a lot of will power, not for fun at all, one of my best female friends made a joke. She said: “INSERT COIN pirirí 1, 2, 3, avance” (you know I’m Spanish so…). At first I didn’t realize that she could center myself in field with this.
I started thinking ‘I should link positive feelings with the most important thing, with what I have to implement. For me the most important thing at the momment was, and still is, taking responsibility for me an the girl getting laid. So I started to link fun to action. And the phrase came to me, I’m sure I read it here: THE FUN IS IN THE CHASE. A lot of people here are having trouble with being the prize and all that stuff. I’ll repeat it: THE FUN IS IN THE CHASE. Those words could change your life, don’t worry you will be chased when you have true abundance, but true abundance is constructed through action. Don’t act prize and cocky, just be authentic.
She kept doing this everytime I did this. Getting hugely blown out by turbos was again fun, thank you darling. Now, me and my friends go out to INSERT COIN. We maid the shift and have linked positive feelings and fun to the game and chasing girls. We are now, officialy players.
Do you wanna help me extend the INSERT COIN PHENOMENON world wide and join the Insert Coin Club. The rules are clear:
1. Shout INSERT COIN! and make as if you were inserting the coin on the girl.
2. Claw the girl.
3. Rapid kino escalation.
4. Have fun with it.
5. Repeat until getting laid.
Today’s talk is about a pretty abstract thing. I’m describing a special type of state, a state I found is the best for me. Yeah, I know, you are thinking “awesome, if I have that state girls will jump on my dick”. FORGET THAT, I want you to be selfish and really focus on what you want and in how you wanna feel.
What is your dream?
Close your eyes, really focus on it until you find something that really moves you. It’s not a goal, it’s just a dream.
If your reasons for having that dream are not 100% selfish they don’t count. When I say selfish I mean that just by thinking of it it fulfills you, it gives you a sense of deep happiness and power and you fucking love DOING IT, working towards it. Not getting it, but walking the path.
Tim recent posts on being your hero and his living plan are a perfect example of it.
Have you found your dream? Does it make every fuckin’ cell of your body feel alive and it deeply moves you. Is that dream for you?
The Energy Frequency
Hopefully you’ve just had a glance of the state I’m talking about. That inner feeling, how does it feel? I bet it feels awesome.
I believe there’s a sort of subcommunication channel that is based on energy, your states communicates instantly about you more than you think. This level of communication is a direct product of the way you live your life. Yeah, you can feel awesome sometimes and it has nothing to do with your life, or you can be sad sometimes. But it’s mostly a by product of that.
Come back to remember, or relive, the feeling. Imagine how your life would be if you felt like that 24/7.
I was going to say what prevents that feeling but there’s a lot of ego talk out there and I have nothing more to say. Check out PON (The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle) for more. Ego is what prevents it, but what about what creates it? YOU. Yes, you created it a while ago, it was you. Now you know you have the power.
100% RESPONSIBILITY
How do you feel about the idea of having 100% responsibility of something? Does it feel painful? Change it, because that means 100% of power and control. Learn to attain good instant feelings to responsibility.
If you want this state consistently you must take all the responsibility, he he, good times ahead.
I like to call this state THE PASSION OF LIFE, because it’s the same as living fully alive and it’s like having passion. Others call it self-esteem. It’s natural and it will be there every time you need it. In fact, there’s no reason not to feel like that 24/7.
Imagine if you applied this state to your career, relationships, training, finances, everything in your life. I guarantee that you can do really magic with it, it’s the state where everything in this life that is beautiful comes from.
ACTION!
Enough talk, it’s time for some action. Start small, but start today. Immerse yourself again into your dream, do one thing, just one thing. You’ll want to do a lot, stop yourself and do just one thing today. Do little and learn to love it, the most important thing is not to attain anything negative to it.
While you are doing the action feel the dream and get excited.
In a few weeks you’ll be consistent and you will feel really fucking good.
Tell me how it goes for you and good luck with your self-actualization.
Note: this are some articles I wrote on the RSDNation (rsdnation.com).
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“Because you might as well be dead. Seriously, if you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level” The Man, Bruce Lee
This is something that life and my chemistry huge titted teacher taught me:
You know more than you think you know.
You are capable of more than you think.
You are greater, you are more exceptional you are. But you are still just another human, specifically a man.
That’s your beauty. You, as a man, can do things you now can’t even imagine. As humans we have an incredible power to transform the world, we are based on that.
Take a few minutes for the greatness of mankind and dream awake. Dream about things you think you can’t do. I know, and you too, that you will dream about something that really moves you. Don’t deny your power. Dream big and amazing things will happen. Just make sure it’s something that you love and not an ego-based “purpose”.
IP’s tip for life #1: Do what you love, don’t do what you hate, do what you love.
You, my self-actualized reader, will look at the world and see how people “walk through life in a walking daze”, but you will still them as humans, just the same as you. Because life has threw to you a lot of hits and now you know that all you are is a human being, that has a power whenever he wants (just like everyone) and that you are no better, no worse for using it or not.
You are living in abundance, you are growing in self-esteem. So you may as well use it, because you love yourself, even more than you love other people.
We all doubt, we have insecure times, is an emotion, and a good one. All of your emotions have a mission, are part of your body, learn to use them.
There are no chode feelings, only chode decisions and behaviours. Next time you feel that uncertainty EMBRACE IT, LOVE IT. It’s your dayly bread in the self-actualization path.
Instead of going to the forum and posting a “how to…” question…
IP’s tip for life #2: Put yourself on auto-pilot mode.
Say to yourself: “Fuck it, I’l figure it out.” And fucking mean it. Believe it or not you will solve that thing you think you can’t. You just gotta start somewhere, you’ll get what you need along the way.
If you think this isn’t true. Start small (which is better for forming habits and internalizing things) and go to more big things. You will develop a very beautiful pattern in yourself. When you are used to take action, do things, handle whatever life throws at you and shaping the world you trust yourself. And that, as long as you are the one that measures your balls, is very interesting, I think.
Which leads me to…
IP’s tip for life #3: Things are not really that big of a deal, don’t treat them like that. Don’t take yourself, or life, too seriously.
Those things that you worry about instantly after you wake up or even worse, those that don’t let you fall asleep, you know what I mean are not really that important. In hours, days, weeks, months, years… you’ll laugh at them and at how silly you were. Now, don’t take me wrong, you can be sad sometimes. It’s emotionally healthy. But sadness it’s not the same as being worried.
As Ecky sais, “there are only things and the space where things are in this world”, nothing else and nothing more.
IP’s tip for life #4: Paradoxes are good, is in not-knowing where your real power lies.
I really don’t know what to say about that, it really talks for itself. Which I think is good, I love simplicity.
Well, this is long enough. I don’t know WTF just happened, I just started writing, out of impulse. This is not my stuff, at all, just my way of putting it. Last year I learnt a lot of things and just felt like sharing them to that who wants to read.
This was certainly the longest text I’ve ever written in English. And after reading it, and realizing that I’m listening Coldplay right now, I think I’m transforming into a Spanish PoP or something like that. A PoS, lmfao.
Anyways, this is the best I can put what game is for me. Like the bad-ass John~ said me once Life is Game and Game is Life. Now drop for a brief moment all the mental clutter you carry around and all the labels you have about yourself and look at you. Really look at you, just be for a moment. As long as you are a human, you have an amazing power and you can do huge things. The thing is, are you willing to throw the comfort out and enter the land of uncertainty, to live on your edge? All I can do is encourage yourself, in the end you are the only one that can empower yourself. Ok, I’m going to bed. Now you are sexworthy. Enjoy it and play big.
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